From the mouth of babes!

Okay so this blog experience is suppose to be about me and B....but most of my loyal readers realize that I also have approx. 120 other babies as well. When you spend 180 days with children, hear about their family lives, stop their fights and bickering, give hugs, remind about homework, share celebrations, and wish they'd stop calling your name....you've officially become a teacher. This brings me to today's blog!

Yes I think it's funny that B says "What happins?" when he falls in the mud. Yes it's a good laugh when he reminds me everyday "My penis" and proceeds to play hide and seek with himself, but really the stories below are true! These kids really do believe the information below.

My sixth graders were assigned a research report. They each selected a Country and were provided with an outline to fill out. The "regular" kids worked on four sections: geography, historical facts, people and culture, and government and education. Here are just a couple of "facts" that I've read about...be prepared and worried, this kids although sweet will be taking care of us when we reach the nursing home.....I'm considering shooting myself before I allow that move! LOL

1. When asked under the people and culture section what races were in Egypt student E replied:
There's only one race in Egypt, but that was in 1996. I don't think there will
be anymore for about ten years.
E is referring to the Olympics. However he must have forgotten that the 1996 Olympics were in Atlanta!
Furthermore when asked about the famous leaders he stated:
Some famous leaders in Egypt are the Sun God and Upper and Lower Egypt.
Really the Sun God? What major decision has he made lately? Is he in the UN?

2. Under the section of historical facts I was told the following about Japan by student Sh:
In Japan they speak Spanish and the country was founded when two men
and a woman went to the space station.
Really the space station? How did that work? Spanish in Japan, now there's a thought!

3. Student M reports about the occupations of woman in Mexico
The occupation of woman in Mexico is to get pregnant and then take care of
babies.
When asked what the men do? She replied:
Ms. W the men don't do nuttin'!

4. Student Sy also completes a report on Mexico and shares with me:
In Mexico they've been bullfighting for millions of years!
I'm sad to tell you that we have learned about the Cavemen this year. Apparently either I didn't teach it well enough or she didn't learn. A million years! OMG

Needless to say I'm still laughing as I plug away at grading these papers. Most of them are smart kids who just didn't want to do the work or thought I just wouldn't want to read their paper. Others just aren't real smart yet. Either way the humor is great!

Breath In Breath Out

Have you ever had one of those days (weeks) where you find the need to remind yourself to breath? Me? This week would be one of them!

1. Seriously, I had no idea that selling a house could be so much of a roller coaster ride. They told me...but I shrugged it off. They were right! The house was under contract and in the last minute the buyer bailed. "Thanks, thanks a lot!" So my stomach got turned inside out because after reading the inspectors list I didn't even want to live in my own home. In comes good ole' dad, bringing me back to reality. Now I've worked on getting some things in order and I've got another offer. I'm holding my breath. The ride goes up and down. Pray for me. I'm not sure how much longer I can remain calm and mature in the face of neighborhood harassment!

Breath!

2. Kids! I walked to the edge of the earth and nearly dived off in frustration today. One of my "babies" started the rumor that she slapped me and I cried. Really? Do any of you know me? So as the students started the buzz I just smiled and thought......clearly that student is still breathing so she obviously didn't hit me. Another "baby" threatened his mother on me....."she's gonna tell me how it is". Bring it on! I'm a good listener.

Breath!

3. My crush....yes I had one...he got scared and has "disappeared". Damn, I tried to tip toe but still enjoy his company. I crossed the "she's a safe girl" line and now I know he's gone. Truly, I hate being alone, I just want to find that someone who will "like" me as much as I "like" them. Am I asking to much? Know any single men?

Breath!

4. Eating! Why is it that when life hits the hills of a roller coaster I suddenly want to hold on to a......PIZZA? I've been doing so well at eating healthy, then the hills hit and I go on a full fledged pizza eating frenzy. Mmmmmmm thin crust, pan, cheese, pepperoni, sausage, bacon, tomatoes, spinach, mushroom...mmmmmm must I go one. So the pizza got me, but I will prevail! I must loose some weight by the time swim suit season arrives.

Breath!

Shout OUT

Hey my girl.....NANCY!!!! Here it is...your shout out! NANCY....is it like having your name in lights?....maybe better. So I've added two blogs...don't read them all at once you know it takes me a while to fill in the blanks!

HUGS!!!!!! Give AJ a big ole' hug for me and B!!!!

The Evil Circus People!

Okay so I cringed titling this blog, but really they're evil! They smile, but it's only because they are charming the dollars right out of your pocket. Thank heavens Aunt Megan brought tickets for us. We arrived early only to stand outside in line while this "thought he was funny" man announced over and over and over and over again and again and again that he had programs for sale and if I bought one now I would get a light up clown nose...which he so lovingly displayed! Not to mention his ploy that my son would certainly want this unforgettable program to have all the clowns sign it and that he will cherish it forever! I stood strong! B does not need a program even if he is starting to drool over that damn blinking clown nose!

We enter to the darkness to be greeted by a dazzling light show and greeters beckoning us to the center ring! We slid down the steps and entered the ring, mingled with the clowns (no he didn't ask for their signatures and didn't miss the program), saw the Elephants, trick dogs, unicyclist, and sat on a "horse". What an experience! We hiked back up to our seats, met up with Megan, Ben, and the twins. We HAD to buy something...I settled for popcorn. Little did I know that as soon as the lights dimmed and the circus begun the light up spinning unbelievable got to have it toys would begin pacing up and down the steps...just like beer at the ball games! Can you say crack for ADHD.....B nearly lost his mind in joy thinking he was going to talk me into that one, as if the gold popcorn for 7 dollars wasn't enough!

We'll go again next year...but I guarantee that I will be prepared with the NOT BUYING YOUR STUFF look.

Walk This Way.....Or May That Way!

New York! What a great place......to visit. We landed and took a 50 dollar cab ride to Julie's work and then her house. I couldn't believe it! All the buildings, all the people, all the garbage piled on the sidewalk, all the noise....it was so exciting. Meg and I hauled our stuff up four flights of stairs to be greeted by Julie and Christopher's two dogs! Their apartment was cute...tiny, but cute and very livable. Do I need to tell you that I had spent days trying to figure out where and how I would go to the bathroom in such a small living arrangement? My worries were laid to rest when I realized I'd be just fine....Juls has as much of a stomach issue as I do!

Meg and I took off for our first day in the big city. We traveled the subway, rode the Staten Island fairy, saw Ground Zero, the Wall Street Bull. The people...not so friendly, no one smiles at you on the subway. In fact the subway "engineer" called out several times "If you're going to the Staten Island stop you need to be in front of the conductor" we all gazed back and forth to each other....."how the hell do you know where the conductor is?". She announced it about three more times before she began beating on the window motioning us all to move forward! Who knew she was in front of us!

We then met up with our NEW YORK friends and were told we look like tourist..but they'd be seen with us any how. Guess living in the big NY for about 4 months makes you the real deal. We ate crazy food....no chicken tenders with ranch here. I had a dirty dog, some kind of stuffed "shellish" sandwich, some absolutely crazy Chinese food (i kept thinking where's the sweet and sour chicken) they only had chicken feet and tofu dessert (Julie called this ice cream.....not a chance in hell this girl believed that@!)

The next day included walking across the Brooklyn Bridge....yes the whole thing, and yes it was cold! We saw Circle Park, several famous churches, the library, Rockefeller Center, the Today Show set, M&M store, and I even held a real life Oscar! A fantastic trip.....we hung out at Caroline's Comedy club and saw Damon Wayne's perform...funny guy! How could I forget my favorite part...CHINA TOWN!!! Who knew purses could be more fun than I've already built them up to be? We were in dungeons, shady minivans, alley's, and back rooms! I left with a Fantastic (real) Chanel and 2 Gucci's. We bought scarfs and pashminas, and a tourist name plate for the B man!

Overall the trip was fantastic. I loved every minute! Even though I was warned you can't explain all the walking that is done in NY. You can't explain the amount of people. You can't explain the noise. you can't explain the speed. You can't explain riding in a cab.....holding your breath the whole way. YOU MUST EXPERIENCE IT!!!! Let me know...I'll go again!